Dear Pope John Paul II,
I was informed of your death earlier today. I am also very sorry to hear it. I, too, am Catholic. So, to commerate your 84 years on this earth, I shall tell others of your life, in my own words.
Well, for starters, you were born in Poland. I think Poland is a pretty cool place. Does it have a pole in it? I've never been there, so I've always been curious. You also served in the Polish Army. Good thing you weren't shot, or else I wouldn't be writing this.
I guess you decided to be a Priest. I hope that was fun. You worked your way up the Catholic career ladder and eventually landed yourself as Pope. I guess being the pope is like getting your Doctorates in Law or something. Either way, you were at the top of your game.
Then someone shot you. Sorry about that.
When you recovered you were still the pope. I think if you were shot in any other field, the boss probably would have fired you for not showing up to work. So congrats!
You helped topple communism in Europe. I don't know when that happened, so I'll assume it happened now.
Then you were pope for a long time...blah blah blah.
Oh! You also saw some break dancers recently. I'm sure that was neat.
And that's all I can really remember. I'm sorry that you had kidney failure and hopefully you'll be reincarnated into something really cool. But I guess you don't believe in that, so you might be a donkey next. Sorry.